Now - This is not a time of year I particularly like. But this year is proving to be a challenge for my "mind". I can usually distract myself "planning" or "modifying" - but not even retail therapy motivates me. And depression really scares me - been there, and do not wish to return.
For obvious reasons all "trips" have been curtailed this year. I'd planned to go to India as well as the UK. But I find myself unable to plan anything as not even divination or blind guessing shows a path. Antici............................................ .......pation has changed to simple Aceptance. I find myself clinging to work for entertainment - but really it does not - it merely occupies. And it's all getting very tiring.
Knowing the signs allows me to see the way. I have started drink way more beer than before - so decided yesterday to stop for a while. It's probably a good thing that I have problems obtaining my favorite rum. I have one last bottle in the emergency lockup. But if I get snarly, you'll know why.
The inability to even plan a short ride to see a mate here is converting me into an armchair rider. I can't "do" the "go out for a ride" thing. Never could. I need an objective, albeit contrived. And simply there is no fun in going anywhere if the first thing you have to do is wear a ruddy mask.
I just needed to vent the frustration - Nothing to see here - move along.
For obvious reasons all "trips" have been curtailed this year. I'd planned to go to India as well as the UK. But I find myself unable to plan anything as not even divination or blind guessing shows a path. Antici............................................ .......pation has changed to simple Aceptance. I find myself clinging to work for entertainment - but really it does not - it merely occupies. And it's all getting very tiring.
Knowing the signs allows me to see the way. I have started drink way more beer than before - so decided yesterday to stop for a while. It's probably a good thing that I have problems obtaining my favorite rum. I have one last bottle in the emergency lockup. But if I get snarly, you'll know why.
The inability to even plan a short ride to see a mate here is converting me into an armchair rider. I can't "do" the "go out for a ride" thing. Never could. I need an objective, albeit contrived. And simply there is no fun in going anywhere if the first thing you have to do is wear a ruddy mask.
I just needed to vent the frustration - Nothing to see here - move along.

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