I got the fully synthetic horn oil good for 50,000 honks 😉
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So you buy the product for the same price but you check yourself out and pack your product (with 10 cents for bags) and then you carry it to your car. I stopped going to the grocery store I have been to for the last 30 years. They have gone close to full self checkout. It just pisses me off you do everything. After doing all of that I had to tip myself 20% of my bill. Fair is fair.
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Actually, the best bar in the world is Warshowskis. An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Irishman says, “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin , there’s a better one. At McDougal’s, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and McDougal himself will buy your third drink!” The others agree that sounds like a nice place.
Then the Italian says, “Yeah, that’s a nice bar, but where I come from, there’s a better one. Over in Brooklyn , there’s this place,
Vinny’s. At Vinny’s, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink.” Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar.
Then the Polish guy says, “You think that’s great? Where I come from, there’s this place called Warshowski’s. At Warshowski’s, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your
third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!”
“Wow!” say the other two. “That’s fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?”
“No,” replies the Polish guy, “but it happened to my sister!”
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Skip to main contentMan dies and goes to hell... : r/JokesOpen menu
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r/Jokes9 yr. ago
reedzy
JoinMan dies and goes to hell...
A man dies and finds himself at the Gates of Hell. Obviously, he is distraught to not find himself in Heaven, but he also knows his life on Earth wasn't exactly Heaven-worthy. Looking very glum, he approaches the devil.
"Why do you look so upset?" The devil asks.
"Why am I upset?! I died and went to Hell! What reason could I have for being happy?!"
The devil replies, "Oh come on! You might actually like it here! It's not so bad. Don't you like drinking?"
Somberly, the man replies, "Yes, I do."
"Well then you are going to love Mondays!" The devil says. "It's all-you-can-drink! Drink til you can't drink anymore, then drink some more!"
"Yeah??" The man is taken aback.
"Oh yeah! Hey, don't you like smoking?!"
To which the man replies, "Well yeah. I do love to smoke!"
"Then you're going to love Tuesdays!" exclaims Satan. "Tuesdays are all you can smoke! All day long, just keep on smoking! Hey, do you do drugs?"
"Well," replied the man, "I did experiment with some in my lifetime."
The devil, smiling, says, "Then you're going to love Wednesdays! All the drugs you could possibly imagine! All day long! Say, do you like to swear??"
"Wow!" The man, totally bewildered, says, "Yes! I swear all the time!"
"My friend, you are going to LOVE Thursdays! We curse ALL DAY LONG!"
The man is absolutely thrilled.
"Say," the devil goes, "do you like gay sex?"
"No, actually," replies the man.
"Oh," the devil responds. "Then you're going to hate Fridays..."
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Mouse! Quit sending me dik pix!!!
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